Victim or
Survivor?
Dealing
with Chronic Illness and Life
By, Joni
When I turned 30 years old,
I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease.
Turning 30 is bad enough without adding an illness on top of it to make
me feel older than necessary, but this was the hand life had dealt me.
Graves’ disease is a chronic
illness which affects the thyroid gland.
I realize that there are many chronic illnesses out there that are worse
than this, but dealing with the effects of this disease is still a day-to-day
process. I still see a doctor at least
every two months and I am required to take medications every day in order to
function normally.
After living with Graves’
disease for about a year I asked myself some difficult questions: Am I going to allow this disease to control
my life? Am I going to let this disease
change who I am? Am I going to let this
disease win? Am I going to wallow in
self-pity and doubt or I am going to rise above it? Am I going to take the easy road; lying
around all day and complaining to anyone who will listen about my lot in
life? Or am I going to take the hard
road and get on with life whether I feel like it or not and shut my mouth
unless I can smile and say something positive?
This string of questions is
not unlike what many of us ask ourselves whether we live with a chronic illness
or not. Life does not deal most of us an
easy-to-win hand. All of us at one time
or another are going to be faced with difficulties in life. I have come to believe that the real test
life gives us is how we deal with the hard part, when things are not going
well. Are we going to claim the part of
being a victim of life or do we rise above it, survive, and get on what life
and face what comes next?
When dealing with a chronic
illness it is easy to be a victim. It is
easy to complain about how I feel physically.
I it easy to complain about how I look and let it bring me down. It is easy to constantly ask, “Why me?” and
seek for someone of something to blame.
It is easy to sit still and do nothing, using my illness as an excuse
for not being able to take action.
Aren’t we all victims of
life from time to time? Have you ever
throw yourself a pity-party? Have you
ever stayed in bed curled up in the fetal position and wished you could stay there
forever? Of course we have all sunk into
despair and self pity from time to time, it’s only natural, but do you make it
a habit to play the victim? If so, you
are not only allowing yourself to be a victim of circumstance but also a victim
of life. It is the easy way and, in my
opinion, the weak way to deal with life.
It is not easy to be a true
survivor of chronic illness. Physical
discomfort is probably the most difficult factor to deal with. I rest my body when it gets overwhelming but
I have also found ways to keep my mind off the pain and even help it
decrease. This takes effort and work,
plus a lot of time and discipline, but it is worth the end result. I used to ask, “Why me?” but quickly
discovered there is no answer to that question so I stopped asking. Instead I ask myself, “What am I going to do
about it?” and the answer is, “Live my life to the fullest.” Illness cannot take away who I am inside and
change me if I don’t let it, so I don’t.
I can still use my talents and go for all my goals and dreams in this
life as long as I don’t allow myself to define who I am by the disease I
have. What’s the point of that
anyway? I am so much more then this one
small thing and I can rise above it to be the real me regardless of Graves’
disease.
To be a survivor of life is
even more difficult because there is so much more to rise above then illness
alone. There is sadness, despair,
betrayal, and loss. However, real survivors
know that life also comes with happiness, personal achievement, love, and
acceptance plus so much more if we take the time to seek it out and let it into
our life. Survivors don’t look for
excuses, they look for solutions.
Survivors don’t ask, “Why?” they ask, “What?” and then do it. Survivors don’t look to blame someone, but
look for ways to forgive. Survivors do
not seek revenge, but look for ways to become better themselves by learning
from mistakes and unfortunate circumstances.
Survivors know when and where to ask for help when they need it instead
of throwing up their hands and saying, “I give up!” Survivors to not cower and hide, they stand
tall and face the fire.
Someone once asked me, “What
can people with Graves’ disease do?” and the only answer I could think up that
satisfied me was, “Anything we want.” We
need to have the same attitude about life in general and tell ourselves, “I can
achieve anything if I set my mind to it and get what I want out of life.” Happiness with life is a choice, if only we
are brave enough to make it. Being a
victim or survivor of life is also a choice, which one will you choose?